I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
