Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
