I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
