you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
