I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
