The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
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