thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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