Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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