Cold hands, warm shart.
If i come over, it means nothing
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
