Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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