Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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