I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
