I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
She tied me up with her honor cords...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
