found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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