the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I understand Curling. That high.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
