yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He better not be in your backpack
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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