I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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