either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
