whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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