Kareoke will never be a sober sport
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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