Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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