i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
