She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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