Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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