He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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