rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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