Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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