My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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