Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
