I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
