yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
