dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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