You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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