you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
