i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
