God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
