Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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