I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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