Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
