Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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