how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
