I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
