He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
