p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize