You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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