Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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