I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Woke up backwards on a recliner
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
