I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
