I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
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Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
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Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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