I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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