I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
not ubering you a puppy
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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