my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
