The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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