well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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