Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
