he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Shame is for Republicans.
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