3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
