for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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