your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
