just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
