my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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