you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
