I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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