Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Randomize
