Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Randomize
