I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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