I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
