bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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